Why Jumping On The Fan Bandwagon Might Not Be Such A Bad Idea

An article by Captain Mystery, posted on March 09. 2004.

An Attempt To Contradict Myself Without Saying So
Why Jumping On The Fan Bandwagon Might Not Be Such A Bad Idea

Oh no! I was going to make this my very last rant against the LucasArts (LEC) fan community, but then something extraordinary happened... I actually started to sympathize with them.

Yes, that fair-weather bunch of gamers turned out to have a point when it comes to one thing: canceling Sam & Max: Freelance Police was – and currently remains - a disastrous decision.

Sure, I still hate everything there is to hate about LEC fans. They’re mostly a bunch of socially retarded nerds with the width of Hoagie, the insanity of Laverne and the ineptitude of Bernard (all from Day of the Tentacle) rolled into one. But when dorks are right, you listen to dorks!

In the past, I defended LEC’s endless onslaught of Star Wars games. Sure, I might not have played many of them, and in fact the only ones I bought in the last few years were from the Jedi Knight series and more recently Knights Of The Old Republic. But I gave my support (however pointless it was) to the company and the endless milking of its cash cow’s nipples.

However, the reason I thought LEC was right to keep churning out faceless game after faceless game was that the company would remain innovative. In my own naïve way I defended the corporation because I thought they’d take the money they earned from the Star Wars games and use a little to make creative, enjoyable games for the fan-boy and girl market.

LEC’s answer? NO.

It’s becoming a cliché already, but LEC is very much about money, money and more money. And then more. And, just to make absolutely sure, a fistful of dollars on top of that. Fine, we all know businesses have to be about profits. If they don’t make them, they fold, and then you get no games at all, never mind a promising adventure game.

But come on, Mr. Nelson, doesn’t the company already make enough money to risk releasing your first adventure in four years? Isn’t there a point where you’re making so much in profit it becomes almost pointless? Just what are you going to do with all the money you’ll save from not marketing Sam & Max: Freelance Police? Develop a plague of Star Wars: Episode III games?

If that is the case, and you’re saving all your cash for endless tie-in games for that movie, let me point out something. If those games all sell well (or at least break even) then what next? Wait for the very unlikely future of more Star Wars sequels? Just what are you going to do once Episode III is over and done with?

If you’re really a company that looks to the future and is concerned about what the right gaming market is, then try looking past the summer of 2005. Your non-adventure games devised since about the period of Escape from Monkey Island have been, with rare exception, hit and miss at best. The ones developed in-house have been miserable.

I remember the sad, homeless-dog-on-death-row look the guy at E3 2003 had when he was chatting about Full Throttle 2. That look of desperation as if to say “Hey, don’t blame me, I don’t think it’s too good either.” When the top selling point of a game is the mind-blowing chance of moving forwards and backwards, you know you’re in trouble.

But Sam & Max: Freelance Police was different. Remember at that same E3? That video screen you had with a bunch of trailers for your upcoming games? Did you blush when people actually laughed at Full Throttle 2 and Gladius? Did you bashfully bow your head when people stopped, grinned and celebrated the all-too-brief clip from Sam & Max? If not, you should have.

I know the game is rapidly turning into the Holy Grail of the nerd world, but what do you risk by continuing with production? No publicity is bad publicity. You’ve inadvertently created such a fuss about the game that its release is going to get more attention than your apparently inept marketing department could ever have hoped for. It’s not much to ask for, especially when the only reasons customers have been given for not going ahead with the game are that “Uh, we don’t know how to, um, sell this game, so, eh, it’s finished.”

LEC has come under a lot of flak from the dork armies for some time now, under accusations it sold out to the Star Wars franchise. As I’ve said, I didn’t much care, because we still got promised a few original games. But your latest move is foolish in the extreme. Instead of restoring a good chunk of consumers’ goodwill by releasing Sam & Max, you’ve gone in entirely the opposite direction.

Sure, you probably couldn’t care less what Joe Q. Gamer thinks about LEC personally. I know I don’t, because I only really care about myself. And now I’m working out, I do look pretty hunky. But that’s beside the point. I’d believe those geeks who say they’ll never buy another LEC game again.

They may not have much individual clout, but 10,000 pissed-off geeks refusing to buy a $40 game just because it’s by LEC means $400,000 lost for starters – almost 20 per cent of what some people are saying Sam & Max had already run up in production costs. And as much as I hate online petitions, about 10,000 have signed the one for Sam & Max.

Mr. Nelson, you’re LEC’s Vice President of Finance. You do the math.

ratboy March 14. 2004

I think that a lot of the fans are pretty crazy. I mean, they sign the Sam and Max petition with comments like, "star wars sux!!!!!!11"
But Sam and Max and Full Throttle were good games. Escape from Monkey Island wasn't too great, but personally, I have more faith in Sam and Max.
By the way, I think the LucasArts store needs to start selling the classic graphic adventures again. I looked, and the collections of old adventure games (like Maniac Mansion, Zak McKracken, Loom, The Dig, and Outlaws) were gone.

Kingzjester March 09. 2004

Whoops! Yeah, so it seems. I didn't actually READ what you had to say. And no, no I am not bitter. Having looked closer at the workings of the American judiciary system, I am more certain now than ever that an eloquent enough lawyer could twist the copyright law in the fashion I described and show that fan-game-makers do naught wrong. It is a stupid law and not at all directed towards wee infringers of the fan-game variety.

What is really curious to me is that I otherwise agree with everything you have yet said, and still we are 'enemies'... Well, I agree with the wee bit I skimmed through at least.... I should define skimming: in my parlance, it means I held my eyes closed tight as I looked away from the monitor while the computer was off... You may rest assured that I very carefully and studiously dissected every last word you said while drunk and asleep.

Oh, and BTW, your jig is up. I know who you REALLY are.

MrManager March 09. 2004

It's news@scummbar.com as somebody(

Carlius March 09. 2004

I find it intresting that Capt Mystery's e-mail is forwarded to news@scummbar.com Nice that some fanboys have split personalities =)

Captain Mystery March 09. 2004

Uh...at no point do I refer to "you" as the LEC fans. In fact, the whole tone reads like a letter to the company, if you're so inclined to think so.

However, I'm not, and instead think you're simply still bitter about me writing a wittier, superior and - a first for a written article - sexier piece about the legality of fan games than you did.

Tune in four hours later for the next episode in the "did not, did too" saga!

Kingzjester March 09. 2004

I like how the voice (and consequently the person addressed) shifts from Cap'n addressing the fan adventure dorks to Cap'n's letter to LEC PR dept.

Flamestrike March 09. 2004

W00t, you rock Captain Mystery. That was one mighty fine article.

LucasTones March 09. 2004

Go Captain Mystery! Back from the dead and you've still got it!

The article is good, it makes some very valid points. LucasArts won't do anything, we all know that *deep down*, but we can still moan. And that was a damn fine moan.

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