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Dominic Armato Interview

An article by invisibelle, posted on July 21. 2003.

invisibelle has a chat with Dominic Armato in what proves
to be a differant kind of Dom interview!

2. Tell us a little about what you think of Martha Stewart.
Though I lack conclusive evidence to back up this claim, I'm quite certain that The Beast walks among us, creating elaborate centerpieces from yard trimmings. Dante's Inferno didn't do much to scare me into living a righteous life, but the thought of having to watch that woman feign warmth for the rest of eternity scares the living bejeezus outta me. Just look in her eyes... she's evil, I tell you! EEEEEEEEEEEVIL!!!

3. What's your greatest fear?
Well, I have an extremely mild claustrophobia, as well as a supremely mild fear of drowning, and I suppose we all fear being alone, so I guess I'd have to say drowning in an underwater cave all by myself. Either that or making napkin rings for all eternity under the watchful eye of Martha Stewart.

4. My sources tell me that you're from Chicago. Would you agree that on State Street they do things they don't do on Broadway? Don't answer that. Seriously, though, how about those Cubbies, eh?
Your "sources"? I know the LEC fans are always looking for information, but this smacks of some kind of ominous spy network. In answer to your question, however, (which was a low blow... but not as low as the Cubbies' place in the standings) at the moment, I'm just hoping they win the World Series once in my lifetime, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up.

5. If you had written a journal every day to chronicle the past year, what noun would have appeared most often?
Probably "house," but we'll just pretend my life is much more exciting and say "martini."

For those of you that don't know, Mr. Armato has recently acquired and moved into a house.

6. What's your stance on Napster?
You're just begging for an unqualified rant, aren't ya? :-) I agree that it probably helps music sales more than hurts them, HOWEVER, what I think most people don't understand is the importance of the copyright and intellectual property laws that make Napster illegal, and the incredibly negative impact there would be on artists, producers AND consumers (and we're not just talking the music industry, here), if those laws weren't enforced. In short, I think it's unlikely that Napster itself is doing much damage, if any, but the laws exist for a very good reason, and you can't just apply them selectively. Napster needs to be shut down, but it will return... the labels will eventually realize how beneficial this type of a system really is, and we'll end up with a system that still allows the music sharing, but with the consent of the industry and the artists. THAT, I will support. As a side note, however... cool technology :-)

7. *struggles to come up with a Monkey Island question* Okay! If Guybrush was a real person, about how tall do you think he would be?
Depends. If we're talking the CMI Guybrush, I'm guessing he came in at about 6' 3". He seems to have shrunk a little bit since then. I'm guessing scoliosis from the lack of dairy products at sea.

8. Ever tried to imagine what the world would be like if you'd never been born? You know, like "It's A Wonderful Life."
Yes. If I had never been born, then there wouldn't be a soul on the planet who hasn't seen that movie on television at least 27 times. As it is, I think I'm the only who's somehow managed to consistently miss it for 24 years. I should play the lottery.

9. Who would Guybrush vote for in the U.S. Presidential election?
Well, Guybrush is the kinda guy who seems like he could be swayed by popular opinion, so he'd probably vote for (insert winning candidate pending Florida recount). On the other hand, his wife IS a reform candidate, so if he shares her political views, he'd be voting for... Pat Buchanan?... *shudders*

10. What's the last movie you saw? How was it?
Best in Show. It's hysterical. It isn't Waiting for Guffman, but it's chock full of Christopher Guest goodness. Nothing like intelligent comedy :-)

11. Why do you like traveling abroad so much, anyway? (give us the short version, please.)
It's fun. (Short enough?)

12. Did you have any pets as a child?
I had a number of hamsters, named Hamlet I-VII, successively. Except for Hamlet III... after somehow managing to escape from his cage four nights in a row, we renamed him Houdini. We always rented, so we couldn't have cats or dogs, but birds were okay, so we had a few of those. The only one that's still alive hates me. He's drawn blood on me twice. And I'm the one who named him. Ungrateful... *razzafrazza* And of course, the ubiquitous children's fair goldfish.

13. Are you superstitious at all? Elaborate.
Not only am I not superstitious, but I'm big into accurate risk-assessment. Odds-wise, if it's less dangerous than driving a car, I have no problem doing it. It amuses me to no end that we spend hundreds of millions of dollars every year to save a few hundred commuter flight passengers from falling out of the sky, while tens of thousands of people die on the freeways. I'm exceedingly practical about such matters. It's an old nerd school habit that drives my friends nuts.

14. Snow Bunny or Beach Bum?
Snow bunny... but it's been a while.

15. What shampoo are you currently using? What do you have against conditioner?
Freeman's Papaya. And I have nothing against conditioner. That just involves another rinse. I'm lazy.

16. Pick one pop culture phenomena that you think best embodies our generation. Why did you choose what you did?
U2's Zoo TV tour, unquestionably. They pegged it all... the irony, the sarcasm, the detached optimism, the consumerism, the impact of technology... that show was a microcosm of 10 years worth of youth culture. Amazing.

17. Ever regret not graduating college?
Regret it? Not really. I did the right thing at the time. This isn't to say that I don't wish I could go back (on a practical level, of course). I'm really going to sound like a geezer saying this, but it's absolutely true that the unfortunate thing about receiving your education in the first quarter of your life is that you're too young to appreciate it. In the ideal world, I'd be a full-time student.

18. Do you consider "Italian" a race, or are you "white"?
I'd be more equipped to answer this if I had any idea what the heck the technical distinctions are between race, ethnicity and nationality. It's getting harder and harder to make these distinctions in the age of the euphemism. In answer to your question, however, I have, in different contexts, referred to myself as "Italian," "white," and "American"... but NEVER Italian-American.

19. Do you think Oswald did it? Alone?
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it might tend to incriminate me.

20. I guess I should wrap up with another more pertinent question. Do you get a free copy of EMI, or do you have to buy it? I think everyone kinda wonders about that.
Yeah, LEC always sends me a copy... of course, I usually end up buying a few extras to lend to friends and just to have on the shelf. 'Sides which, I'm perfectly happy to help those sales numbers. Hafta do what I can to ensure that we see "Son of Monkey Island" in a couple of years :-)

21. Describe how difficult I managed to make this interview for you.
21 questions? Difficult? Ha! Obviously you've never filled out mortgage papers in California. No paperwork is going to seem difficult ever again unless it's measured in pounds rather than pages. This actually involves creativity... this is fun stuff :-)

A big "domo arigato" to Mr. Armato for taking the time out of his busy schedule to answer our questions!

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