An article by Captain Mystery, posted on March 07. 2003.
You People Really Need To Shut Up - Why Jumping To Conclusions Ain’t Useful
"SOTW maybe Shadows of the...????”
"Or 'Screen of the Week'?"
"I see...yours is more likely"
From one of the many wild guesses after LucasArts started releasing E3 previews
I've belittled fan creations enough for the time being, though I reserve another special place in my apparently dark and bitter heart for fan art. It's not the zenith of insanity that fanfic is, nor the illegal slap-dash jobs that fan games are. It's bad, but at least it's the one fan creation that there is the most minimal of hope for. More about that another time. Let's focus on the actual 'community' of LucasArts fans this time round. In particular (for this article) the way that members of said community like jumping to conclusions. As E3 approaches and LucasArts release more tidbits about their upcoming titles, certain members of the community get into a frenzied state, posting wild guesses and irritating conclusions based on what may sometimes be nothing more than a miniscule square image. But before I continue, I'll write a quick explanation of my first two articles. If this really is the 'advice of a total prat' as one comment said, then great! At least you know it's advice, and may I say, advice worth following.
Someone, I forget who (and I don't really care), called me a 'troll with a column'. I've never thought of myself in such high and mighty terms as a columnist. This is simply a Monkey Island website; and I just write these articles for a simple combination of reasons; I don't like a lot of the results and creations of the LucasArts gaming 'community' and I like mouthing off. Another forgettable person said I don't have to read fanfics if I hate them so much. Correct, and you don't have to read this article if all you're going to do is complain that I'm an aggravator with a keyboard. If you're going to sit and read any of my articles, before posting any response, I ask you to follow one simple guideline. Take issue with what I'm writing, not the fact that I'm writing it in the first place. If that's your only dispute, disappear and go and write your fanfic or boot up that beta version of your own Grim Fandango spin-off. So this time the focus is on fan speculation, and that can conveniently be broken into five basic categories of irritation.
First of all, there are the Star Wars haters. I plan to complain about these people in greater detail in a future article. Not because I'm a diehard fan of George Lucas' space saga, but because the LucasArts fans that immediately dismiss any game with the Star Wars tag share a common characteristic – they're all irredeemably annoying. Star Wars is the biggest money spinner for LEC, they can make money off almost anything they license so long as it ties in however tenuously with the galactic adventures of Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and some actor nobody ever sees in movies anymore. Sure, some of the games might be nothing more than cheap, poorly made and irritating gimmicks made with the hope of getting a lot of profit for not much effort (Rebel Assault, Yoda Stories), but others have been excellent (X-Wing Alliance, Dark Forces). As with the rest of their output, LEC make some good, some bad. Just because it's Star Wars is no reason to write some moaning diatribe about how the company's lost its credibility. Especially when you turn round and drool like a fanboy on heat when there's even the whisper of a sequel to one of their adventure games. Oh, and if you've got a problem with me liking Dark Forces, shut up.
Secondly, you get a similar group of whining pains that bemoan the 'death of adventure games', not matter how much of an over-used cliché it may be. These people are usually the same fickle collective that went into overdrive around the time the first news of Escape From Monkey Island was announced. Before the game was made public, and other E3 titles from that year were being revealed (up until then, all Star Wars: Episode I games), the droning masses were typing messages like "Oh great, more Star Wars. LEC as it once was is DEAD!" except with more spelling mistakes and hyperbole. Then when the game was finally announced, the same complaining fools were falling over themselves to celebrate the return of adventure games (when exactly did they go away?). Finally, after the game was out, they get bitter and start picking holes in the exact same game they were praising non-stop until its commercial release. A few months later, they're back to saying adventure games are well and truly deceased. Then the rumours about Full Throttle 2, or Maniac Mansion 3, or any other sequel begin and the circle of stupidity starts over. If anyone ever refers to LEC President Simon Jefferey's supposed promise of a "50/50 balance of Star Wars and original titles" as a irredeemable pledge to make more adventure games once more, then they have the joy of knowing they're head of the idiot squad. And by the way, just because they're not made by LEC, adventure games are still being made.
The third group can quite simply be summed up as the "know-nothings". But because I like typing, I'll write more. They're the ones who jump to conclusions about what game LEC are releasing based on such overwhelming evidence as a scrap of an image. When LEC recently had a small red cloth-like garment as a mystery image, the bizarre guesswork began. People seem to have an urge to not keep their insane ideas to themselves. Instead, you get to read through such wild guesses as Grim Fandango 2 (also know as the worst idea imaginable) or Monkey Island 5. No, really, someone thought it was a piece of Guybrush's clothing. It's annoying, and ninety-nine per cent of the time it's pointless, as the conclusions drawn are just plain wrong. These people have a collective lack of patience and excess of dullness. However, they're not as bad as the similar, but far more infuriating, fourth group. If you thought spending time with any of the first three would be as enjoyable as hitting your head against a brick wall over and over, think again.
What is this new level of frustration? It's people who draw conclusions on what the game will be like based on the same sort of minimal clue. They feel some desperate need to critique tiny scraps of information for no apparent reason. When it was announced Escape From Monkey Island was coming out, apparently it would be the greatest game ever. Then it was announced the game was going to be keyboard only. Suddenly the game was atrocious. Even though the people complaining had never played it or seen a preview of it. Apparently these whining people have some sort of foresight that lets them make wildly incorrect predictions about the quality of a game based on something that couldn't possibly hint at that factor. It's tied in to the eccentric quirk of the people who leave feedback on this site and The International House of Mojo, where Star Wars games are dismissed as generally being bad simply because they've got the name in the title. If you're going to criticize something, wait until you've had a chance to experience it. I've read lots of feedback on various LEC fan sites, and believe me I have the headache to give me enough right to criticize it.
Finally, there are the people who search for more clues about forthcoming games. These are probably the most harmless people; they simply want more information about a game that they want to play. However, some of them take examination to a new – and meaningless – level. Nothing is spared. Again, to over-use Escape From Monkey Island as an example, sound files, graphics and even lines in the original Monkey Island game were analyzed as giving possible hints to the plot of the fourth game. I'm sure Ron Gilbert was really planning ahead to a fourth installment of his game when he sat down to write the original. The feedback on news items at either The International House of Mojo or the Scumm Bar consisting of speculation or general LEC-bashing is worthless. If you've got something to say, by all means go ahead. If not, and you're going to be type mindless conjecture, please, don't. To stop you guessing what the conclusion to this article is, I'll sum it up for you in two convenient words: shut up.
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I think your biggest problem, aside from being overly harsh and exaggerating, is that you stereotype people into one group that you dislike. e.g. ALL FAN FICTION WRITERS ARE UNFUNNY HACKS. ALL FAN GAMES ARE CHEAP EXCUSES FOR ENTERTAINMENT. ALL FAN ART IS HORRIBLE. ALL MONKEY ISLAND FANS SHOULD SHUT UP.
First of all, you can't possibly have read every fan fiction, played fan game or viewed every piece of fan art out there, so you can't just make a blanket statement about all of it.
Secondly, you can't bash all fans of Monkey Island just because you've noticed some of those fans have views you disagree with. Not all fans are like what you've described, so you can't just say ALL of them should shut up.
In the future, don't insult entire groups because you don't like some people who fall into them - be specific about it. Making blanket statements just makes you look silly. Also, avoid the intensity. I can understand your frustration, but to intelligently write something, you have to keep your calm, or at least pretend to be keeping it.
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that story and character development are crucial parts of a good story. Those are things I value a lot in books, TV series and films, but it's not what I consider top priority in a MI game. If it has a good story with lots of character development, then it's a bonus. But in my opinion what's most important is that the MI games are funny and piraty.
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I have to admit that I found it rather confusing the first time I played the CMI demo. I didn't recognise Guybrush at fist cause he was so tall and he didn't have a beard.
But stangely enough when I heard Dom's voice (for the first time) I knew that this character had to be the Threepwood we all know.
I think this must be the "Attack of the clones". My posts are about to take over the world! MWAHAHAHAA! (<---Murray laugh)
BTW, what's E3?
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I mean just think about the whole Herman Toothrot=Grandpa Marley business in EMI. Is it even possible?
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I mean just think about the whole Herman Toothrot=Grandpa Marley business in EMI. Is it even possible?
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Fans love to speculate about their favorite games, movies etc. I know I do ;-).
I don't understand why some people condemn fan creations. I admit that some of them are pretty bad, but at least it's bad stuff you don't have to pay for nor do you have to look at it at all if you don't want to.
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Case in point: between the second and third games, what happened to Guybrush? Why doesn't he look like a "cool pirate dude" as in the second game? Where'd his cool beard go? He looked like he really developed in MI2. On the other end of the scale, Curse of Monkey Island looks like a parody of its former self. Sure, I enjyed it, but not as much.
EMI on the other hand, felt dire.. I played it for a couple of hours and got sick of it... Not because I didn't like the controls or the 3D style (as a consolation, I adored Grim Fandango - One of my favourites!)... I hated EMI because there was no character development... I felt the script was weak... Too many meta-references that were badly timed (E.g. The Voodoo lady: "Maybe it's because of a four-game deal with LucasArts")... I feel that LucasArts aren't being daring enough...
I also defy claims about all fan games not being any good... I think it was Sturgeon's law that states: "90% of everything is crap" - This goes the same for both commerical and ametuer games... There are some very well written fan games such as 'Night Of The Hermit'... I feel the character development in this game is superior to EMI... Then again, it's just my opinion...
I also feel that no one has to shut up about bashing LucasArts... I feel that if quality is to improve by standards of consumers (And, let's face it, we do pay $50+ for these games, expect for the sneaky little buggers who pirate them!) we need to voice our opinions in order to recieve satisfaction for our money's worth... I'm sure LucasArts don't make games for their own enjoyment (after all, they do have families to feed) I am sure they make games for customers like you or I to buy and play... However, as part of the people who buy these game, I feel it is our right (a right each of us has paid for) to complain if we haven't enjoyed our game playing experience... After all, why should we pay X amount of dollars to play something that does not give us complete satisfaction... I mean, you might as well buy Phatasmagoria! (Don't try to tell me that game was any good! It was dogshit! No wonder Sierra doesn't make adventures anymore!)
So, as some final words, I don't feel anyone should shut up about this... I think that if LucasArts want us to buy their games they should develop them a little further rather than rehashing the same old story and characters... If the quality of storytelling and character development in EMI was on par to Grim Fandango, I'd be satisfied... But I'm not... And I feel as someone who's parted with money for EMI, that I should get a little more than what was presented... I don't drool over sequels... I care about quality... And I feel that's something missing of late with the last two Monkey Island games...
I also feel that Captain Mystery is continuing on the same old tirade... I've already read several columns about his hate for fan-related material (rants, art, stories, games)... He's planning several more columns to rant about these things too... Sure it's his (or her?) column, but isn't there anything new to rant about? I mean, I've got his point, sure, and I respect it like many of you do... But can't we go on to something new for a change?
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I don't know about the pictures. Aren't they only for the Scummbar staff? Oooh, they got an exclusive priviledge there! :)
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BTW, How do I get one of those nice tiny pictures next to my posts?
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The world of MI is to me a place of innocent and fun adventures. For some reason I can't get EMI to fit in to this vision of mine.
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"EMI was a tad too serious for me, it was too much like the real world... with comercialism, lawyers and an overdose of politics. "
That's whatI like about it, with Political correctness and franchise and the real life.
So, what shall I say first. I think I'll tell you about being Politically Correct. Political Correctness is a term that originates from the US, and it means that in politics, press, nor any media, no offence must be done(is my grammar OK?)to any ethnical or . Just one note about political correctness before I go on: The Pirates of The Caribbean, a piratey theme ride in Disneyland, the idea source of Monkey Island had a scene where several people were running after a woman. To ensure that no offence was meant towards women, they gave her some bread and they made the running pirates say nothing that can be explicit and stuff. However, most people thought being PC-ish is fun and they started to sound PC-ish. We see them in EfMI too, a few examples, metabolically challenged, visually challenged, and the whole Pirate Transmogrification Academy is an in-joke about politcal correctness. The guys at LEC thought this would be so great, showing a parody of real life.
Then hopping onto Franchise. Franchise be another American thing, mateys. People sell their know-how for money, started with McDonalds, and other fast food chains, ended with franchise bicycle postmen. This makes people easier to look for (mostly the not-oh-so-high)quality, speed and stuff. In Monkey Island, by the Micro Groggery, Planet Threepwood, Starbuccaneers are referring to well known take-away(or could-be-take-away), it doesn't matter if we're talking about coffee, restaurants or alcoholic drinks. These are all products of the lifestyle of the late nineties and the twenty-first century. You must be secondly on time.
Sorry, I'll post the next part tomorrow, but I am a bit tired now. See you all, folks:)
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I was one of the persons who said that. What I meant was that: what's your problem ? If people dont like fan fiction I suppose they don't read it ! I just wanted to comment on these lines you wrote: "Anyone with the most minimal of literary dignity in their body would be well advised to leave fanfics well alone. I
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Soon there won't be anyone left at all who has worked on the origial games. Sniff!
BTW, I simply adore Jar Jar Binks. He's cute. Episode 1 would have been dull without him.
I know there is a lot of Star Wars junk for fans to buy, but I don't let it ruin the movies. I don't think it's fair to lable movies just because someone is trying to make big bucks trying to sell movie related junk to fans. And besides some of that "junk" may be fun too! I'm a Star Trek fan and I refuse to buy certain ST junk such as Star Trek dolls cause I find them unethical (owning a doll that has been made to look like a certain character portrayed by a certain actor feels to me like owning a voodoo doll of someone. It just doesn't feel right.) Anyhows, I do own a few ST novels and a Star Trek Encyclopedia (which is falling apart cause it's been lugged around so much). I think this sort of merchandise is okay. Posters are okay too in my opinion, but when it comes to dolls and crap games based on a movie... well, In short: I don't like 'em.
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Full throttle: I doubt if they are going for a whole remake or a sequel. It's probably the old version re-released (and perhaps enhanced - slightly). Like they did with ET (film).
I think captain's main goal is controversy. I bet he wants to see us clash under the trivialities he provides for that very reason.
Am I turning him into a real villain, or what? :) Mwahahahaha! .. ahem ..
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1a 1b 2 3 4 5a 5b 6
(Some of them might require searching within the page.) I wonder if any of them are the same Captain Mystery...
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now that I kinda think about it, the Scumm bar actually calls that.. ehmm.. article a 'feature'! Great feature to have on your site! Yeah!
It's strange, but I can't possibly imagine WHY anyone would just come out of the blue and barge in a little happy community like this & start to spill his notorious guts out(on the fans, where else?). I don't see the reason. It adds to the mystery, yes, but it doesn't really make any sense! Is it because his daddy wouldn't buy him that pet monkey when he was a kid or just because his mom wouldn't let him play with that stuffed gorilla they had in the living room? I don't think so!
Come on, people! Let's speculate! Let's annoy him/her a bit whoever he/she it might be!
Captain mys(t)ery sounds like a very reserved and law-abiding guy. He is perhaps a lawyer himself - or someone with extensive legal knowledge. I can't exactly place his age, but he sounds young. Probably around 25-30. Doesn't sound married, but he has finished(or is still in) college. Something tells me he is your average spendthrift. I wonder if he really is a MI fan himself - he sounds too bitter to be able to enjoy anything *that* light-hearted. that's probably deliberate. He also doesn't realize that he is the above.
And here we come at the juicier part: He probably doesn't exist as a person on his own right. He could be the creation of the site staff with the only intention to irritate and criticise us. They may wish to provoke us to DEFEND the community (or to provoke our sympathy/attract attention) etc
That should show Captain how irritating a bunch of grog-swilling monkeys can get! =D
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PS Excuse the spelling. Not my forte
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Personally I quite liked EMI, and so did a lot of the MI old-timers (at the same time as a lot didn't like it of course). "anyone who wants to disagree, go have another look at the first 3 parts" - saying something like this is really worse than anything the Capt'n is saying, isn't it? :)
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EMI was a tad too serious for me, it was too much like the real world... with comercialism, lawyers and an overdose of politics.
I wonder why the two A:s didn't design this game too?
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The MI community is and has always been based entirely on speculation. There hasn't been a MI game since 2000: What do you think there is to do here BUT chat for what is coming next.. or play one of those 'highly illegal and pathetic' fan games.. or read a 'miserable' fan novel.. LEC doesn't give a damn about its fans. They just want to turn a profit, keeping, _if possible_, their fans hooked to their products - by giving sequels that don't make justice to the original game -- being only a name that uses the game's former glory (like EMI -- as others have said it "doesn't have the feel of MI" -- it doesn't! (anyone who wants to disagree, go have another look at the first 3 parts))
MI has everything to do with the 'inner child' in every one of us. Not with law, not with conservatism or politics! These articles of yours have NOTHING to do with the MI _community_. They talk about 'grown-up stuff', and I'm sure all true MI fans do disagree with all that.. well.. stuff! :)
What IS starwars, btw? It's just a great name used by LEC to make money. Anyone is allowed to think that SW is crap (i do, at a 70%). What? Are you gonna sue me? Let's see you do it! And then, you'll probably come and say "Star wars = $$$ and $$$ = more adventure games, which can usually be a loss to LEC. You aren't helping lec to produce more adventures." I'm just sick of such completely sober minds that only think in atrocious, all-capitalist ways. This community is an escapade, a place for recreation, fun and a momentary escape to the sunny beaches of the caribbean, where you can chat with your monkey-buddies, free of all real world obligations. (ah, getting so epical! ;)
Whose side are you on? What would MI be without its fans?Why are you so ferociously against us and *everything* that we have ever done?
People are entitled to their own opinions and are allowed to express them as long as they don't try to harm and/or OPPRESS anyone else. Noone has ever harmed the MI community by HOPING to get a GOOD sequel of an adventure game. No rumours were ever harmful. Your articles are, though, aggravating etc Basically, what's your goddamn problem?!
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nah jk, but seriously; guessing, speculating and discussing about what the upcoming games could be is fun. sure the most ridiculous ideas come along but those are funny to read as well. At the time of speculation and even funnier after you know what the game really is.
Obviously people like to speculate about this kinda stuff and I don't find it offensive in any way. I can't see how it CAN possibly annoy you...
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I just can't help the fact that CMI is effecting my judgement. I admit that I expected another game like it.
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The game has very interesting villans and puzzles but it lacks the true MI spirit.
What I'm trying to say is that it had potential, but they gave it out too fast.
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The other thing that really annoys me, which kinda ties into this article is when people who were so eager to play Monkey Island 4 finish it, then start saying how bad it was and how it should never have been made. That's just silly. It's a good adventure game, and just because its not what you were expecting/hoping for suddenly its the worst game ever? Sorry but no. It might not be as good as the other Monkey Island games, but it's still better than most games on the market at the moment.
*Breathes*
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Those that doesnt exist maybe uh?...or the ones that cant express here because they dont have access???
If we dont communicate what we feel or think over here...where can we do it??..
i mean, it'd be crazy to talk about MI at work or college...in first place, because here in my country is partly unknown the game...and second...it's embarrasing...accept it...
i can write what i think, guess, expect about MI things only to the fans....
ohh...AND I LOVE THE RUMOURS!! ;-)
Correct me if im wrong...but the MI web community (almost all of it), made us an april's joke with rumours, voices, screenshots, etc...because they knew we were going to fall for that, because we live our days expecting rumours for a new game(i mean...i do), [but as i said, correct me if im wrong]...
my bottom line...
dont bother the fans and let them live and communicate each other as much as they want...
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