| Adult Entertainment
|
Zelda Carbuncle Tells All
|
Memoirs of a woman of dubious pleasure.
|
|
| Animatronics
|
Animatronics
|
by Walt Whimsy
|
It’s technical stuff, I can’t understand a word of it. |
| Animatronics
|
Under the Surface
|
by Walt Whimsy
|
It’s technical stuff, I can’t understand a word of it. |
| Annotation
|
|
See Footnoting
|
|
| Archaeology
|
X Never Marks the Spot
|
by I. Jones
|
|
| Art
|
Vagueness as an Art Form
|
|
|
| Art/Philosophy
|
Idealism or Surrealism?
|
Philosophy/art textbook.
|
|
| Beverages
|
Beverages for Everyone
|
|
You know, I don’t believe there’s a man, woman, or child alive who doesn’t occasionally enjoy a lovely beverage.
|
| Big Whoop
|
|
See: Treasure
|
|
| Biography
|
Both Hands Empty
|
The Herman Toothrot story.
|
|
| Biography
|
Both Hands Moving
|
The Stan story.
|
|
| Biography
|
Both Heads Empty
|
The Fettucini Brothers story.
|
|
| Biography
|
A Fistful of Barnacles
|
Journal of Captain Twiddlymore.
|
|
| Biography
|
Lick the Silver Spoon
|
by L. Phatt
|
|
| Biography
|
Me and Blackbeard
|
|
|
| Biography
|
The Time I Blew Up LeChuck
|
Questionable memoirs of Guybrush Threepwood
|
I can’t believe I’m reading my own memoirs.
|
| Biography
|
Yikes!
|
Memoirs of Captain Gilbert
|
Yikes!
|
| Body
|
Unusual Birthmarks
|
|
|
| Breakfast
|
Breakfast at Meathook’s
|
|
|
| Business
|
How to Make Friends and Influence People
|
by Bluebeard
|
|
| Cannibalism
|
How to Serve Your Fellow Man
|
by Lemonhead
|
Yikes!
|
| Cannibalism
|
|
See Also: Self-Help
|
|
| Catalogs
|
|
See Subheadings
|
|
| Cheese
|
Guide to Cheeses of the World
|
Reference
|
|
| Children’s Books
|
The Sinister Beast Under the Bed
|
|
Hmm... Good bedtime reading...
|
| Children’s Books
|
Treasury of Pirate Children’s Stories
|
|
|
| Circuses
|
Alfredo and Bill’s Excellent Adventure
|
Fiction
|
|
| Circuses
|
Damn the Human Torpedo
|
The origin of the human cannonball trick.
|
|
| Classics
|
Great Expectorations
|
by Captain Loogie
|
This is very... ...thick.
|
| Collectables
|
Junk, Junk, and More Junk
|
A guide to collectable memorabilia.
|
|
| Cooking
|
Noteworthy Pirate Foods
|
|
Hey, it’s blank!
|
| Cooking
|
Viscous Fluids You Can Make at Home
|
|
|
| Crafts
|
Crochet Eyepatches for Fun and Profit
|
|
|
| Cross-Reference
|
|
See Referential Obscurantism
|
|
| Cryptography
|
The Code in My Nose
|
Unique message drops through history.
|
Sounds uncomfortable.
|
| Dewey Decimal System
|
|
See Organizational Schema
|
|
| Disaster
|
Great Shipwrecks of Our Century
|
From the Lime-Life Disaster series.
|
Says here the Mad Monkey sank at XXN, XXW.
|
| Disease
|
Fascinating Facts About Scurvy
|
|
|
| Disease
|
Shipboard Diseases
|
|
Gross.
|
| Dogs
|
Dog English Dictionary
|
Reference
|
It says that "Arf" has twenty-seven meanings in Dog.
|
| Education
|
Preparing for the Pirate Aptitude Test
|
by S. Karpman
|
|
| Entertainment
|
Quiet on the Set
|
|
|
| Entomology
|
Tomato Worms
|
An owner’s manual.
|
|
| Etymology
|
Origins of Pirate Words
|
|
It says here that most pirate lingo can be traced to Phoenician restroom grafitti.
|
| Eyesight
|
|
See: Vision
|
|
| Farthington Dynasty
|
|
See: Games
|
|
| Fashion
|
Summer Swashbuckling Fashions
|
Three years of the popular periodical
|
|
| Fiction
|
E Ticket
|
|
|
| Fiction
|
Five More Than I Needed
|
|
|
| Fiction
|
Hedgehog Days
|
|
|
| Fiction
|
Not So Much as a Doubloon
|
An anthology of short fiction
|
|
| Fiction
|
Very Very Short Stories
|
|
Yep, these are short all right.
|
| Finance
|
Easy Ways to Make Money
|
|
|
| Fish
|
Big Book of Fish
|
Illustrated guide to fish of the world.
|
It’s a bunch of neat pictures of big fish.
|
| Fishing
|
Limpet Fishing: The Lost Art
|
|
|
| Food
|
I Married A Muenster
|
by S. Cheese
|
|
| Food
|
Life-Size and Larger
|
|
|
| Food
|
Rats as a Protein Source
|
|
Ick.
|
| Food
|
|
Also see: Cannibalism
|
|
| Footnoting
|
|
See Vicious Pedantry
|
|
| Games
|
Hal Barwood on Monkey 2
|
A critical review.
|
"Less is more, guys. You can’t polish a turd."
|
| Games
|
Fan-Tan Fanatic
|
by Elroy T. Funbun
|
|
| Games
|
Kings of Shuffleboard
|
An account of the Farthington Dynasty.
|
|
| Genealogy
|
My Mother the Cart
|
Strange but true tales.
|
This is really creepy!
|
| Genetics
|
How to Make a Jackalope
|
|
I wonder how they get them to cooperate?
|
| Geometry
|
Properties of the Elliptic Hyperboloid
|
|
The writing is too technical for me, I can’t understand a word of it.
|
| Ghost Pirate LeChuck
|
When I Blew Up LeChuck
|
One of Threepwood’s worst.
|
The catalog was right, this IS pretty bad.
|
| Ghost Pirate LeChuck
|
Where I Blew Up LeChuck
|
One of Threepwood’s worst.
|
The catalog was right, this IS pretty bad.
|
| Ghost Pirate LeChuck
|
Why I Blew Up LeChuck
|
One of Threepwood’s worst.
|
The catalog was right, this IS pretty bad.
|
| Godiva, Lady
|
The Shirt Off My Back
|
Biography, see also Adult Entertainment
|
Darn, no pictures.
|
| Grave Robbing
|
Popular Punishments for Grave Robbers
|
|
Yikes!
|
| Grog, Addiction to
|
I Am Blackbeard’s Liver
|
The Horrifying True Story of a Confessed Grogaholic
|
Just say no to grog.
|
| Groupings
|
|
See Catalogs
|
|
| Headings
|
|
See Cross-Reference
|
|
| History
|
Careful With Those Cannonballs!
|
Legend of the Glass-Bottomed Armada
|
|
| History
|
|
See Also: Scabb Island
|
|
| Hogwash
|
Rememberance of Molly
|
|
|
| Humor
|
Bad Puns For Bad Pirates
|
by N. Falstein
|
heh. Heh, heh. Hooo ha ha ha ha. AHAHAHA!!! HOOHAHA-- "He was stumped!"--HAHAHAHA!! Ahaha. Aheh. Oh, well, I guess it wasn’t that funny.
|
| Humor
|
Dumb Pirate Jokes
|
|
|
| Humor, Gallows
|
So You’re Going To Be Executed...
|
Dozens of things to say on the chopping block.
|
Gulp.
|
| Ice Cream
|
Pirates’ Favorite Ice Cream Flavors
|
|
Hmm, Pistachio Dryrot, Salmonella Chip, Grog ’n’ Cream...
|
| Idols
|
Tikis of the South Pacific
|
Reference
|
|
| Igloos
|
Igloo Construction Made Easy
|
|
|
| Imaginary Numbers
|
The New Tax Laws
|
Light fiction.
|
It’s a bit dry, and I don’t understand the ending.
|
| Indexes
|
|
See Indices
|
|
| Indian Burns
|
How to Give Great Indian Burns
|
|
|
| Indices
|
|
See Titles
|
|
| Inferiority
|
The Complex Complex
|
|
|
| Internal Revenue Service
|
|
See Imaginary Numbers.
|
|
| Jackalope
|
|
See Genetics
|
|
| Jello
|
The Story of Jello
|
|
|
| Jellyfish
|
Our Spineless Cousins
|
|
|
| Justice
|
Kangaroo Court
|
Critique of the modern judicial system.
|
|
| Juvenile Behavior
|
Cow-Tipping Enthusiast
|
Collected essays on form and style.
|
|
| Karate
|
|
See Martial Arts
|
|
| Karma
|
My Karma Just Ran Over Your Dogma
|
see also: Philosophy
|
I think this philosophy stuff is just a waste of time.
|
| Keelhauling
|
Keelhauling: Methodology and Practice
|
|
|
| Ketchup
|
|
See Vegetables
|
|
| Kidneys
|
The Little Organ That Could
|
Pop-up book of kidney functions.
|
There are little pop-up kidneys in it! Ick!
|
| Kleptomania
|
Kleptomania
|
|
It says here that kleptomania is a nigh-irresistable compulsion to take anything not nailed down. Hmmm...
|
| Labyrinths
|
|
See Zip Codes
|
|
| Language
|
Hip Lingo for Pirates
|
A dictionary of modern slang terms.
|
Hmmm... "Aaargh." "Yaarr." "Shiver my timbers." "David Jones’ locker." "Dead men don’t tell stories." I should brush up on some of these.
|
| Lice
|
Louse Ranching For Fun and Profit
|
|
|
| Lunch
|
Afternoon at Meathook’s
|
|
Fascinating...
|
| Lyrics
|
Rock and Raunch
|
Banned record albums of the past decade.
|
I don’t see what’s so bad about these lyrics.
|
| Magic
|
|
See Voodoo
|
|
| Manatees
|
Damp Damsels of the Deep
|
|
|
| Manatees
|
The Sailor and the Sea Cow
|
--a fable
|
|
| Martial Arts
|
Theory and Practice of Bone Breakage
|
|
Hey, this guy’s only a PINK belt!
|
| Mathematics
|
Cubic Lemniscate Formulas
|
|
Boy, is this stuff boring.
|
| Maze Construction
|
|
See Annotation
|
|
| Military
|
The Steath Sailer: Why It Won’t Sail
|
|
|
| Money
|
Make Easy Money at Home
|
|
It says I should send in two dollars for details.
|
| Mountains
|
The Majesty of the Sierras
|
|
Sierras? Majestic? I think not.
|
| Music
|
Elvis Lives
|
Predictions of future music by Nottruedamus
|
|
| Music
|
Grammy Award Winners of the Renaissance
|
|
|
| Music
|
Volume First
|
|
|
| Music
|
World’s Worst Pirate Songs
|
|
Hey, "A Thousand Bottles of Beer on the Wall."
|
| Music
|
Xylophone For Beginners
|
|
|
| Mystery
|
How Much Wood?
|
From the woodchuck mystery series.
|
I think the butler did it.
|
| Narcissism
|
Feeling Good About Narcissism
|
|
The ’about the author’ part goes almost the whole way through the book.
|
| Narcolepsy
|
Confessions of a Narcoleptic
|
|
Boy, what a sleeper.
|
| New Age
|
Dynanetics by L. Ron Gilbert
|
|
Who does this guy think he is, anyway?
|
| Night
|
Sounds From Under the Bed
|
|
|
| Noises
|
A Definitive Guide to Cartoon Noises
|
|
|
| Noogies
|
How to Give Great Noogies
|
|
|
| Normality
|
A White Picket Fence
|
Sociological study.
|
|
| Noses
|
Honk If You Have To
|
Colds, allergies, and other ailments.
|
|
| Nostalgia
|
Soda Fountains of My Youth
|
by Ponce de Leon
|
Boy, does this guy ever want to relive his childhood.
|
| Numerology
|
Numerology for Beginners
|
|
|
| Nylon
|
Use of Nylon by Pirates
|
|
|
| Obesity
|
More of Me to Love
|
by L. Phatt
|
|
| Obscenity
|
&$*#!
|
Symbolic equivalents of obscene words and phrases.
|
This stuff is really repulsive!
|
| Okra
|
Favorite Gumbo Recipes
|
See also Food.
|
|
| Olives
|
Scourge of the Pizza
|
Examination of forced olive consumption.
|
|
| Optimism
|
There’s Always A Rainbow
|
|
I hate people who write books like this.
|
| Orangutans
|
Our Hairy Cousins
|
|
I have a lot of cousins like that...
|
| Organizational Schema
|
|
See Labyrinths
|
|
| Origami
|
Paper Buffalo
|
Advanced origami designs.
|
–
|
| Orthopedics
|
Hear the Sound of My Feet Talking
|
|
It’s about zen orthopedics or some such foolishness.
|
| Philosophy
|
Deliberance
|
A philosophical treatise.
|
|
| Philosophy
|
Rastafarian Philosophy
|
|
I don’t get it.
|
| Pillaging
|
All about Pillaging
|
From the popular How-To series.
|
|
| Pillaging
|
Masters of Pillaging
|
Interviews with some of the best.
|
Wow! These guys are real pirates!
|
| Piracy
|
Pirating Primer
|
For the novice pirate.
|
It’s about something called "software" piracy.
|
| Poetry
|
Three Sheets to the Wind
|
Poetry by pirates.
|
This is some of the worst poetry I’ve ever read.
|
| Quotations
|
Famous Pirate Quotations
|
|
(already checked by Phatt)
|
| Ranching
|
|
see Lice
|
|
| Recursion
|
|
See Recursion
|
|
| Recipes, Voodoo
|
The Joy of Hex
|
101 essential voodoo recipes.
|
I think it’s meant for advanced voodoo practicioners. The writing’s way too technical for me.
|
| Referential Obscurantism
|
|
See Groupings
|
|
| Romance
|
Amour’s Agonizing Adieu
|
by Melanie Leary
|
Argh!
|
| Romance
|
Desire’s Distasteful Denouement
|
by Melanie Leary
|
Dumb!
|
| Romance
|
Fascination’s Final Frenzy
|
by Melanie Leary
|
Fiddle-sticks!
|
| Romance
|
Love’s Lingering Lassitude
|
by Melanie Leary
|
Truly disgusting.
|
| Romance
|
Next To Nothing
|
by E. Marley, an account of her time with Guybrush Threepwood.
|
If you can’t say something nice, you’re not supposed to say anything at all. Much less write a whole BOOK.
|
| Romance
|
Passion’s Persistent Presence
|
by Melanie Leary
|
Why would she write this?
|
| Romance
|
Romance’s Wretched Residue
|
by Melanie Leary
|
Ridiculous!
|
| Romance
|
Sin’s Sordid Swan Song
|
by Melanie Leary
|
Stupid!
|
| Romance
|
Yearning’s Yellowing Yesterdays
|
by Melanie Leary
|
Yuck!
|
| Sailing
|
If I Only Had A Drain
|
Perils of showering aboard ship.
|
|
| Sailing
|
Safe Sailing
|
|
|
| Salmon
|
Lox and Locks
|
Modern problems facing salmon.
|
|
| Scabb Island
|
Scabb Island History
|
An Introduction
|
Says here that Scabb was first settled as a quarantine island for skin diseases. It later became a haven for pirates because of its distinctive lack of authority figures.
|
| Self-Help
|
Pirates Who Love Too Much
|
|
|
| Self-Help
|
Not Eating People and Feeling Good About It
|
Confessions of an Ex-Cannibal
|
|
| Sharks
|
Killers of the Deep
|
A study of Caribbean sharks.
|
|
| Shipbuilding
|
Modern Shipbuilding
|
by G. Steele
|
|
| Shipwrecks
|
|
See: Disaster
|
|
| Sin
|
The Hidden Sins of Calculus
|
|
Boy, this is reactionary!
|
| Sin
|
Top Seven Deadly Sins
|
|
"Sloth" is my favorite.
|
| Slang, Pirate
|
Shiver Me Timbers
|
A History of Pirate Lingo.
See also: Language
|
"Yarrr, matey." I wonder if anyone really talks like this.
|
| Sociology
|
Social Darwinism and Social Disease
|
Comparative social theory.
|
An interesting comparison.
|
| Solitaire
|
A Million and One Ways to Play Solitaire
|
by Herman Toothrot
|
What a rip. Number 236,709 and number 645,212 are practically the same.
|
| Spiritual
|
Gift of the Lizard People
|
|
|
| Spiritual
|
Over the Crow’s Nest
|
|
|
| Stupidity
|
Walk Thru Walls: The Intelligence Avoider
|
An analysis of the system, pat pending.
|
I certainly don’t need this... I can walk straight already.
|
| Subheadings
|
|
See Maze Construction
|
|
| Subtraction
|
Subtraction: Addition’s Tricky Partner
|
|
It’s technical stuff, I can’t understand a word of it. |
| Surgery
|
Operating Without A Net
|
Techniques for safe surgery.
|
It says to always use latex gloves.
|
| Tattoos
|
Why Chicks Dig Tattoos
|
|
Hmm... Maybe I should get one.
|
| Tattoos
|
Tattoo-Related Skin Infections
|
|
Hmm... Maybe I shouldn’t get one.
|
| Tattoos
|
A Child’s First Book of Tattoos
|
|
Aw, the teddy bear is cute!
|
| Tea
|
Tea Party Massacre
|
by Louisa de la Cruz
|
–
|
| Theater
|
Beyond Hearts and Question Marks
|
Shadow Puppetry for the Two-Hook Pirate
|
|
| Three-Headed Monkey
|
The Pride of Loch Ness
|
|
This guy thinks the legendary Three-Headed Monkey is actually the son of the Loch Ness Monster.
|
| Titles
|
|
See Headings
|
|
| Toast
|
Thirty Things That Taste Terrific On Toast
|
|
|
| Toenails
|
Modern Toenail Collector
|
Periodical compendium.
|
It’s a bunch of clippings from some magazine.
|
| Toys
|
Collectable Toy Trucks
|
|
Here’s an interesting one: the Junior Ultra Soldier Commando Assault Vehicle™.
|
| Travel
|
The Caribbean on No Dollars A Day
|
A pirate handbook.
|
|
| Treasure
|
Big Whoop: Unclaimed Bonanza or Myth?
|
|
(given to Guybrush by the Voodoo Lady, it tells the story of Captain Marley and his crew in their search for Big Whoop, and their eventual fates.)
|
| Tree Surgery
|
Anaesthetics For Deciduous Trees
|
|
|
| Trilogies
|
Why People Shouldn’t Write Trilogies
|
by Simon Finkleberth
|
|
| Trilogies
|
Why People Won’t Read Trilogies
|
by Simon Finkleberth
|
|
| Trilogies
|
Why People Write Trilogies Anyway
|
by Simon Finkleberth
|
|
| Tripe
|
Dessert Recipes for Tripe Lovers
|
|
Ick.
|
| Ulcers
|
Why You Shouldn’t Worry About Ulcers
|
|
|
| Umbrellas
|
Giant Umbrellas and Other Bits of Art
|
|
Sounds dangerous.
|
| Underwear
|
Wedgies: Harmless Fun Or Sadistic Torture?
|
|
It says here that the wedgie was once used as a law enforcement practice.
|
| Vegetables
|
Vegetables Children Will Eat
|
|
That’s odd, it claims ketchup is a vegetable.
|
| Vicarious Living
|
Popular Spectator Sports
|
|
I can’t find stoat wrestling in here.
|
| Vices
|
101 Vices
|
by J.P. Ampleform
|
Hey, only 30 to go!
|
| Vicious Pedantry
|
|
See Dewey Decimal System
|
|
| Violins
|
Thirty Non-Musical Uses For Your Violin
|
|
Wow, I bet that WOULD keep the cats away...
|
| Viruses
|
Things You Can Catch By Reading a Library Book
|
|
Uh, oh...
|
| Vision
|
Patches
|
|
|
| Volcanoes
|
Warm All Year Round
|
Real estate handbook.
|
|
| Voodoo
|
|
See: Recipes, Voodoo
|
|
| Vulgarity
|
Gross Things to Say at Parties
|
|
|
| Waiting
|
Is It Soup Yet?
|
A jillion things to do while waiting in line.
|
|
| Wallpaper
|
Impact of Yellow on Small Children
|
Psychological study.
|
|
| Wallpaper
|
Anywhere But My Room
|
Designs featuring cute cartoon characters.
|
|
| Wallpaper
|
Living in Lime
|
One thousand lime green designs.
|
Ick.
|
| Waltzes
|
Dancing On Three Legs
|
|
|
| Warthogs
|
The Misunderstood Pet
|
|
|
| Wealth
|
Opulence as a Social Art
|
by L. Phatt
|
|
| Wild Animals
|
Meet Mr. Tiger
|
Pop-up book.
|
Neat, the pictures pop up.
|
| Wine
|
Sniffing the Cork
|
How-to for the wine snob.
|
|
| Woodworking
|
Out On a Plank
|
|
|
| Xanthippe
|
Life Cycle of the Shrew
|
|
|
| Xenophobia
|
Hey You Kids, Get Off of My Lawn
|
|
|
| Xylophone
|
|
See: Music
|
|
| Yacht Clubs
|
Pirate’s Guide to Caribbean Yacht Clubs
|
|
|
| Yachting
|
All You Need is the Cap
|
Yachting on land.
|
|
| Yaks
|
The Yak is Slow But the Earth Is Patient
|
|
|
| Yawning
|
The Yearn to Yawn
|
Psychological study of yawn envy.
|
|
| Yeti
|
Interview With A Snowman
|
|
|
| Yiddish
|
Feh, and Other Useful Terms
|
Reference.
|
|
| Yodeling
|
Yodeling from the Top of the Lungs
|
A study of yodeling as an offensive weapon.
|
|
| Yorkshire Pudding
|
Not Quite Really Pudding
|
Articles and recipes.
|
|
| Yo-yos
|
At the End of the Rope
|
Yo-yo politics.
|
|
| Yo-yos
|
Bouncing and Behaving
|
Intermediate yo-yo tricks.
|
|
| Yo-yos
|
Spinning at the End of a String
|
Yo-yo philosophy.
|
|
| Zinjanthropus
|
Pirates of the Pleistocene
|
|
|
| Zip Codes
|
See Indexes
|
|
|
| Zippers
|
Zipper Theory
|
|
|
| Zirconium
|
The Most Beautiful Element
|
|
|
| Zoology
|
Just one of the Primates
|
|
|
| Zoology
|
Zoo Animals More Intelligent Than Humans
|
|
It’s too thick, I don’t have time to read it.
|
