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The Curse of Monkey Island Walkthrough
This walkthrough was written in 1998, so our apologies for non-timely jokes and references. The walkthrough—which covers both regular and Mega Monkey mode—was written by Joonas Linkola.
Part I: The Demise of the Zombie Pirate LeChuck
First steps
You start the game as a prisoner, locked into the hold of LeChuck's pirate ship. Pick up the ramrod from the wall and talk to the small pirate Bloodnose. You soon find out that he is no pirate, he is Wally, your cartographer from Monkey Island 2. You can talk to him about whatever you want, but at last say that he is a failure as a pirate and that he should snap out of it. Annoy him until he begins to cry. Wally throws his fake-hook to the floor. Pick it up and use the cannon.
Little action for start: shoot all skeleton boats with your cannon (you can also try to shoot the fort if you want). After you have destroyed all the boats, go to window. You can talk to Murray the Skull if you want, but it isn't mandatory (you can also push him into the water with the ramrod). Attach the hook to the ramrod and pick up the skeleton arm floating in the water with the ramrod-hook combination. A-ha! There's also a cutlass attached to the hand. Go back inside, cut the rope holding the cannon with the sword and fire the cannon.
After recovering, pick up the purse of wooden nickels from the floor, and the huge diamond ring that is under the purse. Cut a hole to the porthole with the ring. The ship will sink and you will get to the shore where Elaine is waiting.
Part II: The Curse Gets Worse
Old friend and buccaneer hair stylists
After Elaine has gone through a certain change, pick up ember from the beach. Walk out of the screen and go to the swamp. Talk to Murray and go inside the boat. Seems (and sounds) familiar...
Hard: Get the paste from the table.
Use a wooden nickel on the gum machine, get the pin from the floor and pull the alligator's tongue. Ask Voodoo Priestess about the curse and how to lift it. You will hear that you need to get to Blood Island, and to get there you need a ship, a crew and a map. Leave the place and go in to the town of Puerto Pollo. Go to the theatre from the side door (the building with the clock tower). Pick up the magic wand from the table and use it to the hat. Drum roll, please! You have just summoned a book from some other dimension. Get it, and examine the coat. Get the glove from the coat's pocket and the dandruff... no, wait a minute... no, it's lice! Yuck!
After recovering from the shock, go to the stage (to the right) and talk to both actors. Leave the theatre. Go to the barber shop. You meet the famous barber-duelist Edward van Helgen (alias Snugglecakes), the barber Haggis McMutton and the... shorty called Cutthroat Bill.
Easy: Get the jawbreaker.
Hard: Push Bill twice and get the jawbreaker.
Put the lice on the comb when Haggis puts it on the table. Get a haircut. When you're sitting in the chair, use the handle once and get the paperweight from the table. After the barber leaves, use the handle until you can grab the scissors from the ceiling. Leave the shop and go left, near to the chicken restaurant. You notice a thick jungle there. Cut the flower from the tree. You have scissors, the jungle needs to be cut... need anymore hints?
From danger to danger
After you come to a clearing, look at the sign. You will be swallowed by a giant snake. Don't worry, you are still alive (after all, what would the game be if the main character dies in the beginning?). Pick up everything from the snake's stomach (egg, vacuum cleaner parts and lots-o-stuff). Use the flower into the maple syrup and pour it into snake's mouth.
You are free! And you find yourself in middle of... quicksand. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Darn. Get the reed and thorn, and tie helium balloon to the paperweight rock you have. Blow balloon. Use the thorn to the reed, and blow the balloon. Get out of the quicksand with the vine.
Get to the chicken restaurant and give pirate Blondebeard the reservation ticket you got from the snake. Talk to Blondebeard. Take a biscuit from the barrel. Push the quiet customer, get the knife, look at the button. Give the jawbreaker to pirate, and offer him a bubble gum. Get the tooth from the floor.
Easy: Get card from the table and leave.
Hard: Eat biscuit. You find a bunch of maggots inside it. Put the maggots on the chicken on the table and get the membership card from the chicken after the maggots have eaten. Chew gum and put the golden tooth in to the gum. Inhale helium from the balloon and chew gum again. Get the pie pan and biscuit cutter from the left. Leave, and outside use pie pan on the mud puddle.
Recruiting a crew
Go to barber shop. Use the glove on Van Helgen. When you get to the field and you have to choose a pistol, close the middle box lid and choose banjo. Van Helgen accepts it. Van Helgen starts to play. Note the notes he plays after each piece of music. Repeat them when your turns come. Continue this until Van Helgen starts to play the banjo on his own. Get a pistol and shoot the banjo. How piratean! You win the contest. Back at the barber shop, show the golden tooth to Cutthroat Bill. Return to the competition field and go on the grassy knoll. Cut the sawhorse with the bread knife and light the rum with the ember. KA-BOOM!
Hard: Cut a piece from the another rubber tree with the biscuit cutter.
Go back to barber shop and talk to Haggis. Get into caber toss competition. You win. Now go to cabaña and show the cabaña boy your membership card. Get three towels and put them in the ice bucket. Proceed to the beach. Try to move to the guy in the horizon. Ouch! That sand is hot!! Lay the wet, cool towels on the sand and walk to the guy. Talk to Palido and get his mug.
A map and a boat
Leave through the gate and go to the lemonade stand. Swap mugs and buy lemonade. Take the pitcher and fill it in dye vat (on the right). Return to cabaña, take a towel and dip it in the ice bucket. Give the cabaña boy a good snap with the wet towel. Get the cooking oil. Go back to Palido, put mug on his stomach and pour dye from the pitcher to the mug. Use oil on his back and get the map. Go to Danjer Cove.
Hard: Pour paste on the piece of rubber tree and repair the hole in the boat with it.
Use boat and go to the pirate ship. Saw the plank with the bread knife and climb up. Make some noise and you will get tarred and feathered. Return to town and go to the chicken restaurant. Say something to Blondebeard, he hits you with a frying pan and you end up in a cooking pot.
Use the ventriloquism book on captain LeChimp (don't ask...) and get the map from the table. Open window and escape. Return to Puerto Pollo and go to theatre, and upstairs.
Easy: Push the lever and push buttons until an X appears, then go back to downstairs.
Hard: Push the lever and push buttons in the order told in the map you just got (the directions represent the buttons, east is at right, northwest left upperhand corner and so on) and an X will appear. Go downstairs.
Use chicken grease on the cannonballs in the trunk. Go to the stage and dig X with the shovel. You will find Elaine.
Part III: Three Sheets to the Wind
Sea battle
You get robbed at the beginning: Captain Rottingham steals the map to Blood Island. After that comes a really hilarious musical performance, enjoy it. When you want to stop, choose the line "We'll surely avoid scurvy, if we all eat an orange". The pirates cannot think of anything that rhymes that and will stop.
McMutton asks you a question. Here you choose the difficulty level of the sea battle. The other option is the normal level that lets you play all ship-to-ship combats by yourself, the other is an easy level where the battles are a lot easier. After choosing the level examine the map.
Choose a boat on the map (with "?" on it). Attack it, and after defeating it in ship-to-ship combat, you get into a sword fight. The idea in sword fighting is to insult your opponent and counter his insults so that he will lose. The answer to an insult must rhyme with the insult itself. When you start a new fight, start with an insult you don't know answer to. You will lose at first, but after you gain more knowledge on the insults, you will eventually win pirates. If you get stuck, the matching insults and replies are here. When you win an opponent, go to Puerto Pollo and buy bigger cannons. Continue this until you have the best cannons and you know all replies.
Then attack Captain Rottingham. Just like in Monkey Island 1, he has different insults, and you have to defend yourself all the time. The replies that rhyme Rottingham's insults are here. After you defeat him, you get the map back and can sail to Blood Island!
Part IV: The Bartender, the thieves, his Aunt, and her lover
Bloody island...
After you wake up on the beach after a huge crash, talk to Haggis until you find out that he needs tar. Pick up the bottle from the beach.
Hard: Bite the bottle open. You get a cork.
Go to the hotel. Talk to madame Xima and ask him to see your future from the tarot cards until she has turned five death cards. Get the cards. Get the pillow from the chair and talk to the man with a hangover. Take the recipe book from near the mirror, and look for the recipe for the hangover drink. A-ha. You need dog hair, an egg and pepper. Go out.
Go the the graveyard, to a screen where is a dog. Get the chisel and mallet.
Easy: Get biscuits and give them to dog.
Hard: Give the biscuit from the chicken restaurant to the dog.
Get dog hair. Go to the windmill and pick up pepper. Then go to the beach, put the pillow on the rocks and hit the tree with the mallet. Get egg. Return to hotel.
Dangerous drinking habits
Give pepper, egg and dog hair to the bartender. He makes a hangover cure, drinks some and gives the rest to you. Talk to him. Go to the back room, use chisel to the cheese and get the refridgerator magnet. Go back to bartender and order a drink with an umbrella (!). Open the hangover cure bottle with chisel and pour hangover cure to the drink. Drink the drink. Warning: do not try this at home!
Now that you're dead, you are put in a coffin. Open the coffin lid with chisel and get the nails. Open the other coffin with the chisel, too. You meet Stan, your old friend that someone (by accident, of course) nailed in the coffin in Monkey Island 2. Talk to Stan. You will get a business card. Leave the tomb, go out of the graveyard and go back into the tomb. What a change! Get an insurance. Return to hotel. Go upstairs, and in from the first door. Hit the nail on the wall with the mallet and get out. Get the nail on the floor.
Hard: Pick up the painting, cut it with the scissors, use the frames of the painting to the first door. Open the far door with the business card.
Go in to the far door. Open the bed and nail it down with the nails you got from the tomb and with the nail you just picked up from the hallway. Get the book from the skeleton and read it. Go back downstairs, tell the bartender that you are part of the Goodsoup family and tell him what you learned from the book. Go back upstairs, open the first door, go in, close the door and look out of the porthole. After Goodsoup has seen you in the portrait gallery, he accepts you as a part of the Goodsoup family. Go back downstairs.
Hard: Pick up mirror from the wall and use the face you cut from the painting to the mirror frame.
Take the jar and use the chisel to the jar lid. Go to the windmill.
Hard: Use the umbrella to the windmill blades.
Fill the jar from the barrel. Go the the clearing where Elaine is and catch the fireflies into the jar. Close lid. Go to the lighthouse and put the jar with the fireflies to the lantern stand.
Hard: Use mirror on mirror.
Volcano eruption
Get down and go to the cannibal village. Take the block of tofu and the measurement cup. Cut the tofu with the chisel. Now you have a mask. Go up where you meet your old friend Lemonhead, the vegetarian cannibal. Talk to him and wear the block of tofu. Attend the ceremony. After the ceremony, throw some cheese in the volcano. Oh no... The volcano was lactose-intolerant... BURP!
Go back to hotel and use the rest of the cheese to the pot on the barbecue. After the cheese has melt down, take the pot to Haggis and you get the hand lotion. Go the the clearing and use the lotion on the cursed ring in Elaine's finger. Take the ring. Go back to hotel.
Get a drink, mix the hangover cure with it (again) and drink it. You wake up in the Goodsoup family crypt. Go to left and talk to the ghost. If you want to have fun, look through the crack in the wall. Go to left, take the crowbar and walk towards the crack. Murray the Skull tries to scare you. Pick him up and look through the crack.
Hard: Use paste with the skeleton arm.
Talk to Mort. Pick up the lantern on the table with the skeleton arm and put the lantern on the coffin lid in the previous room. Use Murray on lantern.
To Skull... Duck Island!
After Mort has opened the crypt door, go back to hotel and into the back room where the big cheese is. Get death certificate and go upstairs, into the far room. Open the boarded hole with the crowbar and use crowbar to the bed. In the crypt, get the ring and go to Stan's. Show him the death certificate, get cash (you're dead, after all) and go to the beach. Talk to the ferryman, fill the mug with sea water, magnetize the pin with the fridgerator magnet and push the pin into the cork. Put the cork/pin combination to the mug and give it to the Lost Welshman. Get a ride to Skull Island.
Go up to mountain and talk to the winch operator. Go to the "elevator". Wheee!! Open the umbrella while you're falling and go inside the cave. Talk to the pirates and play poker. When you get your cards, use the tarot cards to the weak hand. Yippee!! You win a big, uncursed diamond! But... King Andre doesn't like losing. Uh oh.
After the fight, go back to Blood Island and to the clearing. Attach the diamond you won to the ring and put the ring into Elaine's finger. Elaine is back, but both of you get imprisoned by LeChuck's skeleton servants.
Part V: Kiss of the Spider Monkey
Carnival of the Damned
Talk to LeChuck. This conversation clears up many things, so players of the previous Monkey Island games, stay sharp! LeChuck leaves with Elaine. But... he forget to lock the door! Open the door and... wait a minute! What has happened to you?!
Go right and talk to Dinghy Dog™ about the competition. Ask him to guess your age. He guesses wrong, so you will get to choose a prize. Choose the anchor.
Easy: Put anchor in meringue pie.
Hard: Use shaving cream on pie pan and put the anchor in pie pan. Put the "pie" on the other pies.
Talk to rat and make him fire the cannon. Open the gate, walk behind the screen and look from the hole. The rat shoots a pie to your face. Mmm, tasty! Go back right and push Dinghy Dog™ until he bites you. You get some dog hair. Go right and get the pepper mill from the snow cone stand. Ask for snow cone and put meringue, pepper and hair on the cone. Eat it. Yuck. That is sure to clear your mind.
Part VI: Guybrush Kicks Butt Once Again
Rollercoaster...
You're on a roller coast ride. If LeChuck stops you somewhere, don't worry about that. Get out at the first stop and pick up the fallen rope from the ground. Go to the second stop and get the keg of rum. Go to the third stop.
Easy: Get flask of oil.
Hard: Open lantern, blow the lantern and get flask of oil.
At the fourth stop, go up the icy path and use keg on monkey. Use oil on rope and attach the rope on keg. When LeChuck appears, use pepper on him.
Insults
| Insult | Comeback |
|---|---|
| Insult: Every enemy I’ve met I’ve annihilated! | Reply: With your breath, I’m sure they all suffocated. |
| Insult: You’re as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee. | Reply: I look THAT much like your fiancée? |
| Insult: Would you like to be buried or cremated? | Reply: With you around, I’d prefer to be fumigated. |
| Insult: Heaven preserve me! You look like something that’s died! | Reply:The only way you’ll be preserved is in formaldehyde. |
| Insult: I’ll skewer you, like a sow at a buffet. | Reply: When I’m done with YOU, you’ll be a boneless fillet! |
| Insult: Killing you would be justifiable homicide. | Reply:Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide. |
| Insult: En garde! Touché! | Reply:Oh, that is so cliché! |
| Insult: Throughout the Caribbean my great deeds are celebrated! | Reply: Too bad they’re all fabricated. |
| Insult:When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified. | Reply: At least mine can be identified. |
| Insult: You can’t match my witty repartee. | Reply: I could, if you would use some breath spray. |
| Insult: I can’t rest until you’ve been exterminated! | Reply: Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated. |
| Insult: You’re the ugliest monster ever created. | Reply:If you don’t count all the ones you’ve dated. |
| Insult: I’ll leave you devastated, mutilated and perforated. | Reply:Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated! |
| Insult:Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified. | Reply:Is that your face? I thought it was your backside! |
| Insult:I’ll hound you night and day! | Reply: Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay! |
| Insult | Comeback |
|---|---|
| Insult: Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated! | Reply: Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated. |
| Insult:When I’m done, your body will be rotted and putrefied! | Reply: Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide. |
| Insult:Your lips look as they belong on the catch of the day! | Reply:When I’m done with YOU, you’ll be a boneless fillet! |
| Insult:You’re a disgrace to your species, you’re so undignified! | Reply:At least mine can be identified. |
| Insult: Your looks would make pigs nauseated. | Reply:If you don’t count all the ones you’ve dated. |
| Insult: My attacks have left entire islands depopulated! | Reply: With your breath, I’m sure they all suffocated. |
| Insult: You have the sex appeal of a Shar-Pei. | Reply: I look THAT much like your fiancée? |
| Insult: My skills with a sword are highly venerated. | Reply:Too bad they’re all fabricated. |
| Insult: You’ll find I’m dogged and relentless to my prey! | Reply: Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay! |
| Insult: I can’t tell which of my traits has you the most intimidated. | Reply: Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated! |
| Insult: I give you a choice. You can be gutted, or decapitated! | Reply:With you around, I’d prefer to be fumigated. |
| Insult:Nothing can stop me from blowing you away! | Reply: I could, if you would use some breath spray. |
| Insult: I have never lost a mêlée! | Reply:You would have, but you were always running away. |
| Insult: Never before have I faced someone so sissified. | Reply: Is that your face? I thought it was your backside! |
| Insult:Nothing on this earth can save your sorry hide! | Reply:The only way you’ll be preserved is in formaldehyde. |
| Insult: Your mother wears a toupee! | Reply: Oh, that is so cliché! |