The Secret of Monkey Island

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Guybrush: "You fight like a Dairy Farmer..."
Pirate: "How appropriate, you fight like a Cow." - Suggested by Skyfox
"I'm Guybrush Threepwood, ghost busting stud" - Suggested by Gideon Simpson
Look behind you! A three-headed monkey! - Suggested by PezZ
Guybrush after climbing out of the water with the idol.
"Now all I have to do is get this fish out of my pants" - Suggested by Daniel Robertson
Guybrush in the voodoo shop.
"Hmm, a rubber chicken with a pully in the middle. What possible use could that have." - Suggested by Daniel Robertson
Guybrush says when confronted by ghost pirate in town when on his way to wedding.
"How abought some Root Beer?" - Suggested by Haredog, MPH
Guybrush: Look behind you, a three-headed monkey!
Guard: Ooo, the governer's favorite! Better go tell the chef. - Suggested by michael n. rosen
In Meathook`s house:
Meathook:You don`t know when to stop do you`?
Guybrush:Well,Obviously neither did your barber. - Suggested by Michael Jones
Guybrush:i got this scar durring a mighty strugle.
Pirate:i hope you'v lerned to stop picking you'r nose. - Submitted by Steve Cook
Guybrush: Whew, a rubber tree - Submitted by Steve Cook
Well, I can see you attended your family reunion! - Suggested by Adam Williams
Talking to 3 important looking pirates.
I'm the deadliest scallawag that ever swung a sword. - Suggested by Chris Stewart
Talking to Herman Toothrot.
- Where are your pants?
- What pants? - Suggested by Chris Stewart
After Guybrush steals the idol from Governor Marley's mansion...
FESTER: Well, let's hear your explanation.
GUYBRUSH: It belongs in a museum! - Suggested by James Kelleher
After Guybrush meets Elaine for the first time...
GUYBRUSH: I really wish I knew how to talk to women - Suggested by James Kelleher
"Wow! That's the second biggest monkey head I've ever seen!" - Suggested by Jonathan Apgar, Pirate
Guybrush: Holy monkey bladers it's Monkey Island! - Submitted by Steve Cook
Guybrush: Dont eat me.I'm a mighty pirate!
Canibals: that means his skin will be tough and leathery and his meat will be tough and stringy. - Submitted by Steve Cook
Pirate: What's your name?
Guybrush: It's Guybrush.
Pirate: What kinda name is that?!
Guybrush: Well what's yours?!
Pirate: Mancomb Seepgood. - Suggested by Jonathan Apgar
Guybrush, MI2, When LeChuck catches him.
If I only could reach my pirete-utilety belt. - Suggested by Dave Cooler
I want to be a fireman! - Suggested by James Bartlett
In Both Monkey Island games,
"You look like a flooring inspector to me," - Suggested by elberon
From when you get the note of credit in monkey island 1:
Guybrush : "I'm not stupid!"
Storkeeper : "I didn't say you were,not out loud at least." - Suggested by Funky Butt a.k.a. Ju Ju Bee a.k.a. The LORAX
Monkey Island 1 when you first see Monkey Island:
Guybrush : "WOW! This was well worth $59.95 + tax" - Suggested by Funkey Butt a.k.a. Ju Ju Bee a.k.a. The LORAX
In Monkey Island 2:
MEN OF LOW MORAL FIBER: "No, it sounds like necrophobia... it`s more like..."
GUYBRUSH: "Sounds like a crock of monkey snot to me."
MEN OF LOW MORAL FIBER: "No, it's the opposite of acrophobia..."
GUYBRUSH: "Sounds more like WORKAPHOBIA to me." - Suggested by Troels Pleimert
Guybrush and Important looking Pirates
Pirates: What be ye wantin` boy?
Guybrush: I mean to kill you all!!!
Pirates: Get lost boy you bother us. - Suggested by Setzer of Vane (George Mori)
Guybrush and Important looking Pirates
So no pirates means no swag and no swag means no grog. And we're getting dangerously low on grog. - Suggested by Setzer of Vane (George Mori)
Skull guy with boucy head in Monkey Island 1
I feel so glad that you happened to capture my ship, then murdered me and everyone on board.
...yes sir... lucky. - Suggested by Setzer of Vane (George Mori)
Guybrush to Fettucini Brothers
I'm selling these fine jackets - Suggested by Setzer of Vane (George Mori)
Guybrush to Fettucini Brothers
I'm Bobbin are you my mother? - Suggested by Setzer of Vane (George Mori)
Fettucini Brothers: Hooray we're spared an embarassing and financially dibiliating lawsuit. - Suggested by Setzer of Vane (George Mori)
Map Salesman and Guybrush
Salesman: Excuse me but do you have a cousin named Sven?
Guybrush: No but I once had a barber named Dominique - Suggested by Setzer of Vane (George Mori)
Guybrush in Monkey Island 1
OH BOY!!!
It's a T-Shirt!
Not my size but a nice one nonetheless - Suggested by Setzer of Vane (George Mori)
Smirk in Monkey Island 1
Yes, swinging a rubber chicken with a metal pully in the middle can be dangerous....
BUT IT'S NOT A SWORD!!!!!! - Suggested by Setzer of Vane (George Mori)
Smirk in Monkey Island 1
Just want you to know, I don't do this with everyone. It's only because I feel that special student/mentor/pieces-of-eight bonding that I'm going to these lengths. - Suggested by Setzer of Vane (George Mori)
Smirk and Guybrush
Smirk: I say 'You fight like a dairy farmer'. You resopnd:
Guybrush: You must be thinking of someone else I am not a farmer.
Smirk: I can see we've got a lot of work to do here. - Suggested by Setzer of Vane (George Mori)
Guybrush: Arf? - Suggested by Kevin Wallace
Guybrush: The groom`s not Human! - Suggested by A Monkey Island Lover
Storekeeper: What do you want fancy pants! - Suggested by A Monkey Island Lover
Guybrush: You can call me Squinky - Suggested by Jason Threepwood
Guybrush to the lookout in Monkey Island 1:
How did you get this job any way, you're obviously blind as a bat - Suggested by Jason Threepwood
Guybrush: ya thats my name at the top of the list - Suggested by matt
Guybrush: Somehow I knew in hell there would be mushrooms. - Suggested by Drake
"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood ?" - Suggested by ola löfgren
Monkey 1 Names
Gibberish Driftwood - lookout
Guybrush Nosehair - fortune-teller
Peepwood - sheriff
Monkey 2 Names
Gorbush - men of low moral fiber
Threekwood - men of low moral fiber - Suggested by Vanessa
Guybrush: Buzz off Fester - Suggested by RipclaW
Gurbrush to the Navigator Head:
And I could drop kick you into the lava - Suggested by RipclaW
Guybrush: Sure I've got my invitation. It's right here in this seltzer bottle. - Suggested by RipclaW
After the Credits in Monkey! Turn off your computer and go to sleep! - Suggested by Lauren
Guybrush in Monkey 1
Plastic tree! - Suggested by Guybrush Threepwood
Guybrush is Both Games.
I can hold my breath for ten minutes! - Suggested by MrManager
Guybrush: I want to be a firemen!
Three pirates: Get lost boy you bother us - Suggested by ?
Cook: Be sure to wear your gloshes! - Suggested by ?
Guybrush:Yipes! - Suggested by ?
Lechuck: isnt it great to have the winds of hell blowi'n in your face? Suggested by ?
Swordfighting Pirate
"Come to think of it, they all do look the same." - Suggested by Matthew Arcilla
Monkey Island Cannibals
Is that a banana in you're pants, or are you just happy to see us? - Suggested by Michael (Homer) Hofmeyr
I'm Guybrush Threepwood. Prepare To Die! - Suggested by Sencer Destan
I'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother? - Suggested by Matthew Arcilla
Guybrush: It belongs in a museum!! - Suggested by Matthew Arcilla
Mancomb Seepgood: Guybrush Threepwood?! Ha ha ha!! That's the most ridiculous name I've ever heard! - Suggested by Matthew Arcilla
Fester Shinetop / LeChuck in The Secret of Monkey Island
No! Not the red button! - Suggested by Matthew Arcilla
First you better stop waving it like a feather duster! - Suggested by Joey Joe Joe JR Shabadoo
Stan and Guybrush:
Guybrush:Tell me more (extras at Stan's Used Ship Emporium)
Stan: Did I tell you about the porthole defoggers?
Guybrush: I think I can live without that particular piece of junk.
Stan: OK, but don't blame me if you run into an iceberg. - Suggested by Mark O'Connor
Never spend more than 20 bucks on a computer game. - Suggested by Matt
Assorted Carachters: Look behind you, a three-headed monkey! - Suggested by Drew B!
Guybrush: I can't pick that up! - Suggested by Drew B!
GIVE stylish confetti to HEAVILY ARMED CLOWN
Heavily Armed Clown: Wheeee!! - Suggested by Mark Miller
When Guybrush meets elaine in Monkey Island 1
Guybrush: blfft - Suggested by pete
Guybrush: I must have left it in my other pants. - Suggested by Jonathan Rosenberg
GUYBRUSH:What is in that grog stuff anyway?
PIRATE2:Grog is a secret mixure of which contains the following:
PIRATE1:Kerosene
PIRATE2:Glycol acid
PIRATE3:Artificial sweeteners
PIRATE1:Sulfuric acid
PIRATE2:Rum
PIRATE3:Acetone
PIRATE1:Red dye #2
PIRATE2:Scumm
PIRATE3:Axle grease
PIRATE1:Battery acid
PIRATE2:And/or pepperoni. - Suggested by Matt Aukamp
Guybrush: No one has ever drawn blood from me, and never will!! - Suggested by gonz03
LeChuck: Are you glad to be dead?? - Suggested by gonz03
GHOST PIRATE:Do you have an invitation?
GUYBRUSH:Oops!I must have left it in my other pants. - Suggested by Matt Aukamp
Guybrush (looking at fabulous Idol)
Looks more like a fabulous doorstop. - Suggested by Matt Aukamp
Largo: What the HELL? - Suggested by Joe
Sparkey the dog in the bar
LeChuck grrrrrrrrrr - Suggested by a monkey island lover
Stan: He will be back - Suggested by a monkey island lover
Guybrush: Eeek!!
Its the second bigest ear I have never seen. - Suggested by Pin
Guybrush and Pirate:I am rubber,you are glue...
What an amateur insult! - Suggested by Sheldon Peters
Guybrush: Seems it's ALWAYS ten o'clock on this island. - Suggested by Sheldon Peters
Guybrush: Plunder Bunny! - Suggested by Sheldon Peters
Toothrot and Guybrush
I'm talking to the people watching of course!
Um......right. - Suggested by Sheldon Peters
Lookout: "What did you say your name was again?"
Guybrush: "Call me Squinky."
Lookout: "Okay Squinky." - Suggested by E.Marley
Guybrush, Carla:
Guybrush: "Is it true what I heard about you and the storekeeper?"
Carla: "Look, don't start with me okay?" - Suggested by E.Marley
Guybrush and Herman Toothrot:
Guybrush: Who are you talking to?
Herman: Why the people watching of course! - Suggested by RoAd KiLL
Guybrush: I wonder what would happen if I pulled the leg off this thing? - Suggested by LECHUCK498 A.K.A. a monkey island lover
Guybrush: How about a little rootbeer between friends?
Guybrush: I'm sorry I called you Cannonball Head.
I meant to call you Chrome Dome - Suggested by Brian
Guybrush at the Spitting Contest
"Ptheww" - Suggested by Martijn Langerhuizen
Guybrush: Call me Ishmael! - Suggested by Duke
After Grybrush douses the second ghost in the city with root beer...
Grybrush: Look out LeChuck, there's a new sherif in town, and his name is -- Wait!! I'd better get to the wedding!! - Suggested by JoBe
Old Skunk-Eye: "- Arrrrrrgh!" - Suggested by Kim
Lechuck: I am your brother.
Guybrush: That's not true, that's impossible!
Lechuck: Search your feelings, you know it to be true
Guybrush: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! - Suggested by Peter
Cannibals: Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just glad to see us? - Suggested by Matt Aukamp
Standing on the pier, returning from monkey island
Guybrush: Boy, that sure was easier than the trip TO monkey island - Suggested by Barefoot Pirate meathook
Carla: Hey, where's our crew?
Guybrush: How appropriate, You fight like a cow
Carla: You never knew when to use that one - Suggested by Barefoot Pirate meathook
On the road, before a fight
Pirate: Clear the way or me cuts me way thru
Guybrush: Why do all of you talk so funny!?
Pirate: Pirate lingo! Play along, Guybrush - Suggested by Barefoot Pirate meathook
In meathooks house
meathook: Well I'd rather have a cannonball then a pony tail. HA ha ha!
Guybrush: Um...Ha ha - Suggested by £ - The person fomerly known as Barefoot Pirate Meathook
In meathooks house
Meathook: Say hello Roger
tattoo: Hello Roger
***
Meathook: I can show you the whole routine on the ship!
Guybrush: This keeps sounding better and better... - Suggested by £ The person formerly known as Barefoot Pirate Meathook
The Navigator Head in Monkey Island 1:
You can beg all you want but you cant have it. - Suggested by A monkey Island lover
Meathook:"Who are you?"
Guybrush:"I'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother?"
Meathook:"Your mother was a duck!" - Suggested by Duckman
When looking at the bust up in Elaine's room:
"I heard some guys downstairs talking about the Governer's bust, this must be it." - Suggested by Just some guy
Guybrush: Will you scratch my nose?
Wally: Yeah, right after you kiss my butt - Suggested by Dana Hamby
GUYBRUSH: Is it true what I heard about you and the storekeeper Carla? - Suggested by ?
Carla: Look, don't start with me, ok? - Suggested by Brad LaFrance
Guybrush:"I'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother?"
Meathook:"Your mother was a duck!" - Suggested by RuGu
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