Game Info The cover art Game Media

Quotes...



In the scene where Guybrush and Wally are hanging over the pit of acid.
LeChuck: "Any more questions?"
Guybrush: "Where do babies come from?" - Suggested by Elmo


Guybrush: "It's a great day for spitting!" - Suggested by Stuart Sampson (Notorous Pirate)



Guybrush (to LeChuck): Leg or no leg, I trust you about as far as I can throw Manhattan. - Suggested by Michael Bach


Wally: I'm a cartographer.


Guybrush: You do open heart surgery? In here? - Suggested by Daniel Robertson


From the tomb in Monkey Island 2
'Aaaaarrghh!' - Suggested by PezZ of Team Hamster


Guybrush: I'm on a whole new adventure.
Pirate: Growing a mustache?
Guybrush: No, Bigger than That
Pirate: A beard?!? - Suggested by Evan


Fink (while sitting round the campfire with Bart and Guybrush):
"I'd rather be a pirate on Scabb,
than a scab on a pirate,
And if you'll listen to me gab,
I'll tell you why I admire it.
Oh, the people aren't too friendly
And the weather's not the best,
The lodging's too expensive,
and Largo was quite a pest.
But the thing I like about Scabb
Is what it hasn't got.
No mayor or police force
And no jail in which to rot." - Suggested by Lorraine Dallmeier


From when Guybrush reads the tombstones in the cemetary:
"Marco Largo LaGrande,
Hell on sea or on land
The Good news: He's dead
The Bad news: He's bred" - Suggested by Lorraine Dallmeier
Guybrush: "Why do men have nipples?" - Suggested by Andrew Raistrick


How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? - Suggested by Thomas Kristian Roesen


A whole bucket of mud, and it's mine, all mine! - Suggested by Carl Brasic


(When Guybrush is hanging over the acid pit)


Guybrush: Where do babies come from?
Lechuck: In your case the orphanage - Suggested by Tiago Cruz is ^{Locke}^


When hanging over the pit of acid on monkey island 2
Guybrush: will you scratch my nose?
Wally: sure if you kiss my a** - Suggested by Mark O'Connor

Famous Pirate Quotations
"Violets are blue
Roses are red
we're coming aboard
so prepare to eat lead." - Suggested by Dave Welte (Captain Dread)


Guybrush (on the fishing dock):
Where'd you get that other pipe? - Suggested by Patrick


From Wallys place when Guybrush looks at his bed.
"Reminds me of a dollhouse I once had... I mean my SISTER once had." - Suggested by Randy Burkett II


Stan in Monkey 2:
"Thank god this is the deluxe model" - Suggested by elberon
In Both Monkey Island games,
"You look like a flooring inspector to me," - Suggested by elberon


In Monkey Island 2:
MEN OF LOW MORAL FIBER: "No, it sounds like necrophobia... it`s more like..."
GUYBRUSH: "Sounds like a crock of monkey snot to me."
MEN OF LOW MORAL FIBER: "No, it's the opposite of acrophobia..."
GUYBRUSH: "Sounds more like WORKAPHOBIA to me." - Suggested by Troels Pleimert


Referring to LeChuck:
Wally: What do you think he'll do to me?
Guybrush: An ottoman springs to mind - Suggested by Jason Threepwood [also Remi's current favorite]


Largo, after putting Lechuck's beard in his pants.
Man, it IS alive! - Suggested by T.J. Jennings


Guybrush and the man behind the alley door in Monkey2
The big guy behind the door: If this is five, and this is two, what's this?
Guybrush: Your hand? - Suggested by Nick Tortorelli
Guybrush Threepwood: "Hello, I'm selling these fine pink dresses." - Suggested by Dan J. Vice


Guybrush & Wally hanging over the acid pit in Lechuck's lair.
Guybrush: I love you man.
Wally: Let's keep our heads shall we. - Suggested by Joe


Guybrush and the man behind the alley door in Monkey2.
The big guy behind the door: If this is five, and this is two, what's this?
Guybrush: Your hand? - Suggested by Nick Tortorelli


Herman Toothrot in Monkey 2
"If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, what color is the tree?"
The correct answer is: "all colors" - Suggested by Vanessa


Spitting contest man
It's a great day for spitting!!! - Suggested by Nathan Sanfilippo


Guybrush is Both Games.
I can hold my breath for ten minutes! - Suggested by Remi Olsen
Largo: Whoa! Yer' loaded!!!!! - Suggested by Rapp Scallion


Once dragged out of the tunnels at the end of Monkey Island 2.
Guybrush: Oooooh the Mean Whirling Buccaneer! - Suggested by Mark o'connor


Guybrush & the Woodsmith
Guybrush: Oh, shutup.
Woodsmith: Hey, you started it. - Suggested by Joe


Guybrush to Lechuck
A dolly? The surprise is a dolly? - Suggested by Joe


Lechuck and Guybrush
LeChuck: We are bound to one another.
Guybrush: Like dreadlocks?
LeChuck: Yes, rather like that. But more like...brothers!
Guybrush: Eh? - Suggested by Joe


Guybrush and the Librarian in Monkey2


Librarian: "What's your name?"
Guybrush: "Guybrush Threepwood."
Librarian: "Guybrush, is that french?"
Guybrush: "Actually it's fiction." - Suggested by Phil Crawford


Guybrush looking on the chest standing on the floor in Elaines room:
It's very impolite staring in womans chest. - Suggested by Szymon Bronkowski


The lady on the call box in Monkey 2
Guybrush: i'm lost in the Inky Island Jungle in Monkey 2
Lady: Just walk off the edge of the screen - Suggested by Kira Butler
Mad Marty: Can I change the numbers on your food stamps?!?! - Suggested by Kira Butler


Guybrush(from mainmast on ship): What I wouldn't give for a water-balloon right now. - Suggested by Mark Miller


Guybrush in Monkey 2 when you click on PULL,and then click on the skeleton in the prison.
"No thanks, he's not my type." - Suggested by Arron@UK


Guybrush in Monkey 2:
I'll be BACK! - Suggested by Sheldon Peters


In the starting part of Monkey Island 2 LeChuck's Revenge, where Guybrush is hanging helplessly in the pit. When Elaine climbs down to investigate she finds Guybrush and they have a little conversation...
Elaine Marley: Well, well, well.
Elaine Marley: Guybrush Threepwood.
Elaine Marley: You do turn up in the strangest places.
Guybrush Threepwood: Err...
Guybrush Threepwood: Hi, Elaine.
Guybrush Threepwood: Do you think you could help me out?
Elaine Marley: How did you get into this mess?
Guybrush Threepwood: It's kind of a long story.
Elaine Marley: That's OK, I've got time.
Guybrush Threepwood lets out a sigh.
Guybrush Threepwood: Well, it all started on Scabb Island.
Guybrush Threepwood: Some of my admiring fans had pressured me into telling my LeChuck evaporating story once again... - Suggested by Zhin


Tombstone Quote from Monkey2
"Kiss me, I've got scurvey!" - Suggested by Noah Berry
Guybrush and the Lookout


On a Dead Pirates Tomb in Monkey 2
Kiss me, I've got scurvy - Suggested by Jenni Stern


Password Man: What d´you want, kid?
Guybrush: Havce you ever heard the legend of the mighty Guybrush?
*SLAM*
Guybrush: Well...don´t you want to hear it again? - Suggested by Govenor Phatt


Guybrush and Herman Toothrot on Dinky Island
Herman: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, what color is the tree?
Guybrush (after around 80 other answers): All colors?
Herman: Exactly. Now, what has this experience taught you?
Guybrush: That philosophy isn't woth my time.
Herman: I'm very impressed. It takes most people years to reach this point. - Suggested by Infidel


Largo and Guybrush on the bridge outside Woodtick
Largo: HA! Scream all you want, there are no police on Scabb Island.
Guybrush: Then who eats all the doughnuts and roughs up the transients? - Suggested by Jake Rodkin


Guybrush in Monkey 2:
I came all this way to see you.... at least get me a beer! - Suggested by Captain Loogie