Yeah, I Got Nothing…

I started this article six months ago, hoping to write something sensible about the site’s thirtieth year. But what is there, really? A nostalgic tribute to the site’s history? A soaring ballad dedicated to those who came and went? A skewering of fandom in 2026 vs. 1996? That’s all pretty boring. As a retro site, it goes with the territory to look backward, but composing hymns to our own grandeur is a bit much. Even for us.

Yet, at thirty, I have to write something – some sort of contemplation of what was, what is, and what will be. We may not be too sentimental here, but hell… Thirty years is not nothing, and the site is older than some of our readers.

So, let’s throw aside our convictions and put together what we hate the most: A retrospective of sorts. All about the people we only sort of tolerate: us.

A Nostalgic Tribute: What Once Was

Left to right: From back in the day when websites had to work in 800x600 screen resolutions. Over the years, we evolved the Bar beyond news, even adding a pre-Adventurer newsletter. Finally, a peek behind the curtains – the backend used to power the early-to-mid aughts version of the site.

It’s not like I can wax poetically about “editorial standards,” “hard-hitting journalism,” or “general quality,” as those weren’t what one would call “our priority.” But for whatever reason, some old posts stick in the back of my mind, much like a piece of chewing gum sticks to the bottom of a boot. For those who really want to reminisce, here are a few evergreens…

We were big on the “April Fools Jokes” in the early aughts, though it was very clear that none of them were real. Or, let’s be honest, funny. I did feel good about my 2005 “Gabez in fan-fic shocker” as an illustration of our distaste for fanfic, and Gabez doubled down by updating it with an epic story: “Monkey Island 5: My Life is Poo.”

While the Bar ran a popular-ish IRC channel, its staff and a handful of bon vivants migrated to #gfnetwork as a clique-y hangout. Gabez, a man who clearly is a throughline in our more colorful posts and comics, might’ve taken it a step or two beyond.

[12:03] (Gabez) People in real life would never call me a geek >:
[12:04] (Gabez) I SWEAR
[13:24] (Morto) We’re measuring Gabez’ geekness.
[13:24] (Gabez) >:
[13:24] (Gabez) I don’t have any Geekness to measure
[13:24] (Gabez) Jeeze
[11:50] (Gabez) I don’t do anything nerdy or geeky >:
[11:50] (RemiO) So what do you call the whole TDD and TSB stuff you do? ;
[11:50] (Gabez) Dude
[11:50] (ptdc) Weirdo?
[11:51] (Gabez) TSB is not nerdy or geeky ¬
[11:51] (Gabez) It’s HIP
[11:51] (Gabez) And COOL

His attitude is best summed up in the 2004 edition of our Festivus series.

And who can forget the day The SCUMM Bar shut down on July 22, 2005. Clearly, it didn’t take, and on June 9, 2009, we returned thanks to the first Special Edition. Let’s be honest – those four years in between were barren.

For those who want to see the other game announcements…

A couple of other highlights…

  • Already in 2003, we were fighting the rumors of a CDTV version of The Secret of Monkey Island. I will repeat it one final time: It may likely have been ported at some point, but it was never released. Pinky promise. There is a fan-made port, so if you happen to have a CDTV lying around, then have at it.
  • Our host, the erstwhile LFNetwork, frequently got hacked – if you need a reminder… These days we’re independently hosted, so yay us. Almost twenty years of no downtime.
  • I hate to admit it, but our old quizzes are still online. My apologies.
  • And damn, I really didn’t think we were this snarky.

Should you want more old news, you can always peruse the archives. It truly is a time capsule of the bizarre.

A Soaring Ballad: In Memoriam

The sad truth is that many, if not most, of us are still around, not necessarily here at the Bar, but at Mojo. Benzo also hacks Quick & Easy, of course, and Thrik famously is behind the excellent Grim Fandango Network. Gabez might be gone, but his soul lives on in politics and scholarly pursuits. Our founder, Skyfox? Who can even tell? He’s not here, at least – he officially peaced out in March 2002, after a long sabbatical.

So no soaring ballads here – the closest we can get is the one Huz (aka “Joey the Fish”) Rickrolled me with at the most inopportune times.

A Skewering of Fandom: Small Bubbles, No Troubles

“The more things change, the more they are the same,” said Alphonse Karr, and I’m pretty sure they were thinking about Monkey Island fandom when they wrote it. Has a whole lot changed between 1996 and 2026? Not really. People come, people go, and the bubble stays about the same size.

The bubble. For those of us inside, it can feel like Monkey Island is the biggest thing in gaming. Return to Monkey Island hit Norwegian national news, for heaven’s sake. That means it’s a big deal, right? In a sense, I guess so. It’s not like Monkey Island is obscure, but let’s be honest – it’s a niche property. Kind of like an indie movie that appeals to a dedicated core audience, but that the mainstream firmly passed on. That’s the very definition – or at least a definition – of a demographic bubble. You surround yourself with like-minded people, and the echo chamber “confirms” that your reality is everyone else’s reality.

In the real reality, Monkey Island is a small fish in a large pond. While ReMI by all accounts sold well – something I mostly base on SteamSpy and Devolver’s words – things fall back into perspective when you learn that pickup-truck simulators sell tens of millions of copies.

It’s neither here nor there, but you do notice these things when you’ve run a Monkey Island website for thirty years.

Incidentally, we’re often told that fandoms have moved from traditional websites to other fan-centric services, but go onto a Monkey Island Discord or subreddit, and you won’t exactly have to elbow your way in. A larger YouTube channel can run an in-depth interview with Ron Gilbert and still only receive a few thousand views. This is not a big fandom.

Of course, during large events, more people come out of the woodwork and stick around until the hoopla is over. On Mojo, we saw an unusually high number of visitors the day of ReMI’s release, a number which dropped to the regular headcount within a month. The SCUMM Bar was no different.

Small bubbles like this often tend to see a disproportionate amount of negativity, too, which can be exhausting. If I see another redditor jump in and call ReMI “soulless,” I will claw my own eyes out. It’s fine to not like the game, but use your grown-up words. “Soulless” means nothing. Nor do their ephemeral voices on Reddit.

Are the Discords and Reddits of 2026 any different than the IRC channels and forums of 1996, though? Not really. In 2000, the Escape from Monkey Island discourse wasn’t too dissimilar to what we saw with ReMI – the only difference is that EMI got panned even harder and wider.

With that, I’ll step off my soapbox and remind you that the Mojo Forums know what’s what.

Thirty years – where to now? I think it’s safe to say that The SCUMM Bar won’t go anywhere. It’s been with me for well more than half my life, so why quit now? The only way out is ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and I figure that’s a bit further down the road. So, we’ll see how this all looks in 2056 – I can say with some certainty that the curly clouds will remain.

– Remi (September 15, 2026)

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